They're only young for a little while

When I was pregnant with my first daughter, Bailee, I had all of these plans. She would be in her crib from day one, in her own room, my bedroom was off limits, she would be on a schedule, etc. Then entered this teeny 5 pound baby girl and our lives were forever changed. I quickly learned that I was not in control, at least not for the first few months. I did everything I said I wouldn't, but it worked for us! However, I did do everything by the book. She was sleep trained at 10 months and sleeping soundly in her own room by a year. Then one day I blinked and suddenly she was 2 with a newborn sister entering the world, who will be a whole year old in just 4 days! This time, however, I learned to slow down and smell the roses. This time, I learned to not get frustrated so easily when they wouldn't go to sleep, but instead to live in the moment. Most importantly, this time around, I learned that it was okay to cuddle a little longer, to rock to sleep, to cosleep in our big family bed that I always said would never turn into a family bed, when in reality, my favorite time of the day is when we all four wake up together, and to just slow down. Tonight, as I was trying to get Kallie to sleep, she was laying in the crib crying while I was rocking in the rocking chair beside her quietly singing. I came across a post about a mom who recently lost one of her children. In that moment, I realized that yes, sleep is important, and yes, I really need Kallie to learn how to sleep on her own so I can get things done and have some "me" time, but tonight, what I really needed was to hold my sweet baby who is quickly growing up, and love on her as long as she wanted, and that is exactly what I did. I let go of everything I needed or wanted to do, and instead enjoyed the rare moment I get to just be a mama, nothing else.